How to Tame a Toddler

Do you want to hear something hilarious?! I actually remember thinking to myself (whilst sitting in my cushy desk chair in my cushy cubifice) that once I transitioned to staying at home with the boys, Monday mornings wouldn't suck-so-much (Crazy right?!). Those were the days of "innocence" before I knew what it was truly like to be on the call-of-duty solo ALL DAY LONG with the kiddos. Monday mornings used to make me weepy, because I had to send the "cadebug" to daycare, trek into the office, and wonder what I was "missing" all day (now, I don't miss a single booger, poop or tantrum, thank goodness). Fast forward to present day, and I know that when my alarm goes off (either the one on my phone, or the other two tiny human alarms that set themselves off randomly), I only have a short time until the husband leaves me flying solo, and I'm left to fend for myself (talk about survival of the fittest)! In short, I'm glad I can still be in the "Monday mornings suck club."

I'm glad we cleared that up, but that's not the point of this post.

Today is about sharing ideas AND learning ideas from YOU (the one or two people reading this blog) about "how to tame a toddler." Sounds impossible, right?! Let me clarify... I know that you CANNOT tame a toddler completely. After all, they're like tigers in a circus. You can teach them somewhat of a routine that they'll stick to (sort of), but one day (or even in the next minute), and for some unforeseen reason, they will turn on you and bite your face off ... (OK not really). That being said, here are a few tips and tricks that I've tried that seem to keep Caden occupied (or mildly entertained) for a few minutes, anyway.

[Important: Set aside any expectations you have before starting any activity with your toddler, because nothing ever goes as planned.]

1. Finger-painting with cars (or blocks, Legos, trains, etc.) Let your toddler drag his car(s) through finger paint on construction paper. I usually sit Caden down in his highchair, tape the construction paper down at each corner, glob out a little of each paint color on to the middle of the paper, and then let him go to town! We've ended up with some great and very colorful artwork, and it's a great sensory activity too!

2. Make homemade dish foam. Expect things to get wet! Mix a good amount of dish detergent with a small amount of water (add food coloring if desired). Use a mixer or blender to create the smooth "whipped" foam. I let Caden dish out the foam into empty pots and pans, the sink, etc. Then, he stirs it, finger paints with it, and mixes it. (He also "cleaned" my dishwasher and cabinets with it!)

3. Trains! Trains! Trains! Grab your toddler and some toy trains (I guess this is geared more toward boys than girls, unless you have a little lady who's a train enthusiast) and build a really interesting track (assuming you have a toy train set) with lots of twists and turns. You can also instruct your toddler to put the red train on the track, then the blue one, the green one, etc. Little boys love their trains, so why not incorporate some basic learning too!

4. Make a collage. Caden's "DaDa" loves to build things, fix things, create things. So, I asked Caden to help me make a collage of "stuff DaDa likes to do." (Of course, it helped that Phil has a subscription to a couple home improvement magazines). We cut out saws, hammers, paint, tape measures, tool belts, etc and Caden used his glue stick to arrange the cut-outs on paper. DaDa loved his surprise tribute at the end of the day (well, at least he pretended to), and we had fun creating it for him!

5. Let your toddler take you for a drive (OK, before you call CPS on me, hear me out). Remove your keys from ignition. Make sure your car is turned off, in park and in a safe, cool place (like your driveway). Roll the windows down (assuming it's warm, but not too hot outside), and let your tot pretend he is taking you for a spin around the block. Caden loves pushing all the buttons, placing his hand on the wheel, flipping the dome lights on and off, etc. (Always check to be sure all lights are off and doors are completely closed, or you'll get a nice dead battery surprise next time you really need to get somewhere on time.)

There you have it... a few ideas we've tried that have kept Caden's attention (and allowed mama to quasi-relax). What are some ideas you've tried successfully with your toddler? Please comment and share them below!

{I'll leave you with this charming image of my "little monster" (not baby Cooper, he's an angel) who I just happened to discover in my shower today.}

Bringing back the "classics"

As I type this, "Sesame Street Classics" is playing in the background, because I swear to you I cannot watch another second of PBS Sprout! We don't have the television on constantly, but whenever we do it is ALWAYS some sing-a-long (that I cannot get out of my head) starring the annoying purple dinosaur (isn't he retired?!), the whiny Cailou, the overzealous Super Readers, or the I-never-ever-listen-to-my-boss Thomas the train... It is to the point where I sing the "Pajanimals" "brusha brusha" song when I'm brushing MY teeth, and don't get me started on "Poppy (poopy) Cat!"

I guess I just feel guilty switching the channel to anything else, because we all know the news ain't pretty these days, and reality tv is trashy (although entertaining) and as far from reality as you can get. So, I'm stuck with Sprout, because as far as I have seen it is the lesser of the annoyingness that has now become kids tv. C'mon Cailou, can't you wear a different outfit like ever?! And why is your mom always wearing a frumpy mock turtleneck no matter what season it is?!

When I was growing up, we had the now classic "Sesame Street" vs. the very politically correct and a little strange version they have now. We had the irreplaceable "Mister Rogers," the simple but memorable "Reading Rainbow," and a few more... Nothing too fancy or too deep. It was just solid value-teaching, lesson-learning, lets-not-all-be-paranoid tv, and the parents actually enjoyed watching it too! In fact, one of my fondest memories is of watching the "Muppet Movie" with my Dad ("Rainbow Connection" was the song we danced to at my wedding), or laughing hysterically as Cookie Monster devoured a jar of cookies in five seconds flat (before he became a health nut). It was a much more innocent, pure time and with far less penetration from the media into our everyday lives (through every means possible). I know bad things happened then and people suffered too, but it wasn't anything like the fear and anxiety that surrounds us today. Heck! I remember being able to meet my grandma at the actual gate she was coming into at the airport (yeah, back in ancient times)

So, we are sitting here killing a little time before the big guy goes down for his nap (Cooper is already napping), and we are watching the classics. I think I'm giggling more than Caden is (he's laughing at me laughing). We are bonding with the characters I remember, as we travel back to a simpler and less-intrusive time. It's peaceful (well, in between the toddler shrieking), and it's much better than wanting to bang my head against the counter while I try to tune out watching the same dang "wiggles" episode for the THIRD time (No! I don't know where the heck Jeff is sleeping?! I'm starting to think he's a drunk though)...

I don't want to shelter Caden or Cooper from the world they live in (love it or hate it), but I do want to try to filter some of the extraneous and overly liberal fluff from their view while I can. So, go on Cookie Monster eat all the chocolate chip cookies you want! I'm pretty sure I can handle teaching my kids about the importance of eating healthy foods and maintaining a balanced diet (so you can settle down with your veggie-brownie kick).

Yep, Caden, Cooper, DaDa and Mama are reclaiming vintage kids tv, and while we're at it we're focusing on old-fashioned values and manners too. We're going old-school and bringing back the classics...

It's a calling (but it ain't an easy one!)

I'm already failing at my "post everyday" attempt. I know you're probably "all" (the entire 2 or 3 people that read this thing) chomping at the bit for the next glimpse into the booger-wiping, exhilarating, sanitizing-everything, super seductive life I lead. Grab the popcorn (OMG have you tried the smart pop from Costco?), because here we go...

First of all, when I used to work my very demanding corporate job for a very large retailer, I felt "stressed" pretty regularly about my job. I had oodles of projects going on simultaneously, meetings (about other meetings we should meet about), and lots of busy work too. However, I could take a "personal day" every so often and regroup (pre-Cooper and while Caden was still in daycare). I would wake up a little later, stay in my pjs a little longer, run all the errands I could fit in (without stopping for snacks/diaper changes/tantrum taming), and I could actually go to the gym for a class or two. I could just take a little time for me away from my job and apart from the responsibilities that came with it. Even though I spent every moment being a mom in the morning before work and a mom after work until bedtime (and sometimes beyond), I still felt pretty balanced (most of the time).

Flash forward to present day (4 months since I left my full time job) and I'm a full time SAHM whose "job" never ends (I know ... same old story, right?). I am lucky to have a very supportive still working full-time husband who pitches in whenever he can. He's definitely our "Mr. Fix-it" and he also cooks and cleans sometimes too (don't be jealous, ladies)! I don't want anyone to think I'm on this crazy journey alone. That being said, my days of scheduling a haircut and manicure on my "day off" are in the rear view mirror (totally out of view). In fact, my hair is the longest it's been since maybe first grade, and it's not because I'm growing it out. It's because I'm growing it until I figure out when I can slip away to get it trimmed (oh, and the scalp massage... Ahhhhh). I don't even want to talk about my nails, and my flip flops are hiding from my feet right now (seriously).

I know that all of this was my choice, and I take full responsibility for that decision. I wanted to be here for my boys the way my mom was for me and my brother, and I know all too well how fast time flies. I also knew it would be difficult and trying sometimes (OK, most times). I saw my mom do it all on her own while my dad spent a lot of time on the road for work earning a good living for his family. I'm also lucky to have my mom living so close by so she can take Caden for a "lunch with NaNa" or even for an entire day (Cooper hangs with me, as I'm his food source). I guess I just miss being able to "schedule" time to myself and to not feel so zombie-like upon falling asleep and waking up each day (or actually remembering which day it is).

I miss the so-called "me-time," but I honestly wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. Insane? Maybe. But there is nothing like knowing that my full-time "job" now is to shape my two little boys into chivalrous, faithful, loving, humble and driven men. It is my "calling" (at keast for right now). I am not 100% positive I'm super duper at it, but I'm sure as heck going to put my all into it each day (yeah, even on the really awful ones). I know that when I take a trip down memory lane into my childhood, I see my mom standing at the bus stop waving as we went off to school, setting up shop in her honda odyssey while I attended play practice after play practice, chasing my brother as he tore down the sidewalk (often naked), waiting in the school office when I forgot my homework, or driving up to my university just because I was having a really tough week... I see her everywhere, because she was everywhere with us. I know now how hard that was for her, and how exhausting. I also know that I wouldn't be half the woman I am today without her sacrifices. Most of all? I know it matters, because it mattered to me. So very much.

So, for now, I'll shove this "delicious" protein granola bar in my mouth and chase my toddler down the sidewalk (with the coopster in tow), and I'll remember that this is my calling. It's not easy, but I am certain it's worthwhile and life-changing (for me and for them).

[Note: I know all too well what it's like to work full time and miss your kids while they're at daycare, and to feel the pang of guilt every once in awhile. I also know how hard full-time working moms work both at their jobs and in their homes with their families. I've been on both sides of the fence. I fully realize that for many working moms having a job isn't a choice, it's a necessity for the sake of your family. Whichever way you look at it, motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It's for the full of heart.]

Bring it on

So, I know that as a woman (and even more so as a Mom), we have at least a dozen things we're thinking about, planning, analyzing, prioritizing or all of the above in our heads at any given time. Tonight is no different. In fact, it has taken me two days now to figure out how to type the first sentence of today's post, because I feel pulled in so many directions (mentally not physically). Do you ever have that experience where your head is so full that your body actually feels numb (so you just sit on the couch with a vacant stare and pig out on veggie straws from Costco while not really watching trashy reality tv)? Is it just me?!

I have a lot on my mind. After the craziness of this past week in Boston (and all over the country), Caden taking years off of my life with his new fear-nothing attitude, dealing with yet another demonstration of love and respect from my oh-so-supportive in-laws (insert heavy, painful sarcasm here - wish I knew what love and support was like from them), doubting whether or not I'm truly succeeding at being the best mom I can be, and feeling helpless as I try to figure out how to support and show love for a very dear friend --- my head and heart are in overdrive (and I'm ready to slam on the brakes)!

I know I'm not alone in this feeling. There are people across the world (and probably even down the street) with much bigger and/or far more serious issues than mine. Truth be told, my issues and concerns are very minuscule compared to many of my friends, acquaintances and those who I don't even know personally, but pray for often. Come to think of it, I feel selfish for even feeling overwhelmed right now (get it together, self!)...

All these scattered (and annoying) thoughts make me again start to wonder why exactly each one of us is dealt the cards we're dealt in life. I've wondered that since I was a not-so-popular and pretty different catholic grade-school kid. I'd come home crying and lock myself in my room talking out loud to the big guy (or gal) and asking, "Why me? What are you trying to show me? Why am I being tested so much?" It hurt a lot as an awkward pre-teen just trying to figure out my path, but I'll tell you what... I know now it made me stronger as a person, more aware as a parent and infinitely more accepting as a human being. I don't wish any of that angst on my boys as they grow up, but if it happens, I know I can't completely shelter them from the pain, because there are life lessons in pain (although they hurt like hell), and there are revelations that happen once the tears dry up a little.

As an adult now, I still find myself talking to the big guy (or gal!) and asking why challenging, life-altering things happen to the best people sometimes. "Why are you testing the people who seem to keep you the closest?" I sure as heck don't have that answer (if I did I'd be very rich). I can't help but to think that it may be because the "best" people I know are the "best" examples for the rest of us as they deal with their challenges, and carry their burdens with such grace, humility, determination and unconditional love. I've seen this firsthand (too often), as I've watched and continue to watch friends I love and respect accept sickness, job loss, unexpected mind-numbing news, and more in stride. I don't know if I tell them enough how much I admire them and how very proud I am of their strength. How's that for some sappiness? (and here come the tears, which I can't blame on pregnancy hormones anymore...dammit!)

God, I know you're listening (do you read blogs?) and I want you to know that I don't get WHY all of this bad/challenging/exhausting/frustrating stuff keeps happening all over the word and in my own little corner of it, but I'm ready to accept whatever you may put in my path (now, don't go crazy ok?). I'm glad and honored to be living another day here, and I've got to believe that it's all part of some much greater purpose and plan. So, just like the cheerleaders in that really awful cheesy movie (that has like 4 sequels?!) say, "Bring it on!"

Come what may...

Today, I watched the news (as I'm sure everyone did) all day off and on as the city and surrounding communities of Boston were ordered to "shelter in place." Schools, universities, businesses, transportation of all kinds, and even baseball games were cancelled, because a disgruntled young man and his brother made a very bad decision to destroy and take innocent lives during and after this year's Boston Marathon.

I am not going to sit here and regurgitate all of the information the media has already been hurling at us for the last week, and particularly the last 24 hours. You (most likely) know what I know. I'm glad they found the suspect at large, caught him, and have him in custody alive, not because I don't believe he shouldn't lose his life (after the four lives he took and countless others he forever scarred), I just want us as a nation to be able to ask WHY he and his brother did what they did. Where did the hatred come from? Who were they trying to please? What was the greater purpose they "thought" they were serving?

I just am sickened by all of this, and normally I wouldn't use this space to talk about it, because what does it have to do with mommyhood? Well, actually, it has a lot to do with it. These two men (the younger still new to being called an adult) are somebody's sons. A woman carried each of them for nearly 10 months, gave birth and assuredly loved them. At what point after their innocent entry into the world did their minds and hearts become so dark? At what point did evil doing become greater than doing good?

I ask these questions because I, too, am a mother to two boys (the loves of my life). I think the world of them, brag about how smart they are (sorry!), marvel at their abilities and have big dreams for their future (Pulitzer prize material). I have high, optimistic hopes for them, and I don't think of my boys as doing anything less than wonderful with their lives. Therefore, it's difficult to imagine the horror, disgust, fear, confusion, anger and bitterness the parents of the two "Boston Marathon bombers" feel right now. I don't think any mother or father ever truly thinks their child could one day be capable of something so horrific and heartless.. There will be no more opportunity for them in the "land of opportunity" due to their own horrible choices.

On days like this I hold my boys a little tighter, pray harder and try desperately to hold on to the notion that there is far more good in the world than evil. In the wise words of Annie, "The sun will come out tomorrow. Wipe away the cobwebs and the sorrow. Come what may..."

[Sorry for the very serious blogging today, but it's hard to be lighthearted while a whole city and nation exhales tonight and hopes for much brighter days ahead.]

Counting my blessings

Today was a good day at the zoo. I'm not talking about the actual zoo (lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!)... I'm talking about my little zoo that houses two monkey-like little boys, two noisy dogs, one ape (husband) and one zookeeper (me of course!). It wasn't that there was anything particularly specific that made today a good day. It's just that it was pretty tame (knock in wood) and sunny (albeit windy), and well, I just liked it.

Here are my 'top ten' favorite things about today:
1. The sunshine (because everyone is happier with a little sunshine)
2. Caden's swollen lip looked slightly less gruesome today
3. Cooper talking to me with loud, sweet babbles (might have my jabbering gene)
4. I got a challenging jog in (not sure I can call it a run as it was slower due to the double stroller and gusting wind, oh and me, I was also slow)
5. Deciding not to sweep floors and hold Cooper as he napped instead
6. Just because...
7. Sitting outside on the driveway watching Caden mow the grass (OK, it's a toy mower but its excellent training for later in life)
8. Wearing a coral colored under armor shirt (because its pretty)
9. Phil calling me just to say hello (wish he'd do that more!)
10. My life in general - all of it so far (yes, even the very bad no good days too)

No day is ever ever guaranteed, but each day is a blessing. I remind myself of that every night when I go to sleep (for 2.5 hours or until the Coopster wakes up ravenous) and every morning when I wake up. Believe me, there are minutes and hours of every day that I wish were different. There are moments I'd like to do over and better. There are memories that still make me shudder. But there are many more minutes, hours, days, moments and memories that I cherish. For every one of these - good and bad - I count them as blessings. They brought me here today, in the sunshine, staring in awe at these beautiful little men I played a part in creating (hats off to the husband, too). I know there will be challenges and sorrow and pain in my life, but if it means I get to be here for one more day living in my lovable little zoo, I'll take it. I'll take it and run.

It's all fun and games until someone gets a fat lip...

Well my dears, I'm going to start this blog post early while my little monster (yeah, Caden) is napping upstairs. I'd day he's perfectly safe in his sleep, but judging from today's little escapade who the heck knows? I'll tell you what I do know... I'm getting older by the minute with this kid.

So, on our agenda for the day was a trip to a relatively new "play cafe" nearby. I did my research, talked to other mamas who'd been there, etc. etc... Basically, it's a creative space designed for little kids age five and under. I was told it was "perfect" for toddlers. Well, I'm sure that's true, but I don't think they took a toddler like Caden into consideration when artistically filling the playful space. He's not into sitting quietly in the adorable play kitchen and cooking mama lunch with cute, wooden food (I tried!). He's into running around like a wild man while screaming "cars" and jumping off relatively high surfaces. Don't worry... I stay with him in an attempt to prevent accidents from happening, or in today's case to try to cushion the blow.

We arrived at said play cafe, removed our shoes (as stated by the official rules), found ourselves a nice little spot by the small jungle gym, and Caden went up and down the slide with mama's help. This lasted a good five minutes, which is a feat in itself in toddler time! Then, we decided to explore the wooden kitchen. Caden proceeded to throw all the pretty dollhouse (next to the cute kitchen) objects into the fake oven. I pointed out the fake pies and muffins, but he was not impressed. This activity lasted a whopping two minutes! Yay! While I fished the dolls out of oven, Caden zipped over to a bench (for moms who have calm children to rest on) and hops right up to walk across it. I, of course, said "no" and explained we had to "sit" on the bench...

[By the way, does anyone else feel like disciplining a toddler is sometimes like training a puppy, because I have two little poodle mixes and I've been getting some serious déjà vous!]

He listens and sits, briefly. He then gets back up, darts towards the edge of the bench, and yep you guessed it! He takes a tumble, and he lands right on HIS FACE. He screams, cries, flails... I scoop him quickly up and cradle him tightly to my chest. Then, I see the blood... Oh lord, "Are you ok... do we need stitches?!" I ask him. He screams. At this point, everyone in the adorable play cafe is staring at us. I mean EVERYONE (even the less than 12-monthers are judging us). Caden cries and I use my hand and then my nice, lime green jacket to mop the blood off his sweet, injured face. I realize soon that the actual cut is only on his upper lip, and its not that deep or big (thank goodness). It just bleeds - a lot. The owner comes rushing over with cool, wet cloths and I dab and dab and dab and soothe. I'm pretty sure they (everyone else there) were ecstatic when we put our shoes back on and left the premises. I even said "hey, thanks it was fun!," and the owner nervously smiled back at me, like "yeah, it sure was..." What I didn't hear her say is, "y'all come back now, ya hear?" Ha.

[Perhaps you're wondering where calm baby Cooper was while all this craziness was unfolding. He was sitting with NaNa and PaPa (my parents, who also witnessed the incident). Per usual, he was smiling and cooing away. "Please God, let him stay that way forever. Please. Amen."

Anyway, we leave the play cafe and head to a quick lunch. We instruct the waiter to not salt any of Caden's food as to avoid anything irritating his very swollen, but finally not bleeding upper lip. Caden seems like nothing ever happened, except for the occasional "ow, boo boo" and the point to his mouth. That's his way of letting mama know to kiss it, and I did time and time again. Let it also be known that after ordering, my Dad (PaPa) leaned over and informed me that I still had blood on my neck and all over my jacket. My Mom (NaNa) promptly handed me a tide stick. I am now wondering what our waiter is thinking seeing Caden's fat lip and my bloody clothing while hearing our strict request for unsalted food. I guess I'll never know...

Between my yogurt covered yoga pants at preschool and my blood stained jacket, I'm really putting a stamp on mom fashion in our local community. C'mon ladies, you know these trends are so-hot-right-now!

It's nearly 3 o'clock and Caden is still napping. Cooper is watching me type this and playing with his hands very vivaciously. I am counting the hours and minutes until Phil (DaDa) gets home. OK, not really, but I should be! All in all, I still think today is a good day. We still had fun. We still laughed a lot. We still played and used our imaginations. We just got a few boo-boos too... And isn't that what life is really like?You wake up, go about your day aiming for the best, and hopefully giving it your all, and then something unexpected knocks you down. You get back up, dust it off, put a band aid on it maybe, and you keep going. That's what makes us so tough and it's also what helps us learn our limits and boundaries. Slowly, but surely I'm keeping my fingers crossed that's what Caden is learning too.

As I held my energetic, sweet, rapidly growing little man right after his fall, I prayed that his pain would be brief, but the lesson would remain,"Always listen to your mama, and when I'm not there listen to your gut. Eventually, after some hard knocks, it'll never steer you wrong."

That's it for today, folks... Here's hoping the rest of our day is very uneventful... and if your days are like mine, I hope yours is uneventful too!

"Tomorrow is a new day..."

To quote the ever so wise "Anne of Green Gables," "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet." I actually went to bed last night (after the not-so-good-rotten day) thinking of that quote. Then, I started reminiscing about how much I loved Anne and the enchanted town of Avonlea as a kid. I used to dress up as her, in fact (sans the red hair), and I'd pretend I had a "Gill" of my own to tease and love. If you don't know what I'm talking about, sorry. It was just one of the greatest novel series of all time that inspired a pretty decent and long running tv series on the Disney channel. I watched and loved the show too. [Wow! That was a tangent (get used to those ;-) Moving on...]

Every day since I made the transition from being a workaholic in the office to a workaholic do-it-all mom, and since Caden made the transition from attending full-time daycare to being home with Cooper and me, I've made every attempt to stay really organized. What does that mean? It means that every Sunday I sit down at our kitchen table and make a schedule for every day of the week, from wake up time to what activities we're doing and what we're supposed to be learning, to field trips, naps and everything in between, I've got it all mapped out! Now, I'll be the first to admit that we don't always stick to the plan, but having a plan and goals for each day is very beneficial to us all. It keeps Caden active and engaged, it ensures Cooper is comfortable and cared for, and it means that I'll stay somewhat sane. It creates some semblance of balance in our jam-packed lives, and isn't that what everyone really craves? Balance?

There are some things, however, you have to fit in while doing something else at the same time. Every mom knows this. I think multi-tasking is an inherently female trait, but you don't truly fine tune that gift until you become a mother (true story!). For example, I get my running/exercise in while bringing Caden to and from his pre-preschool enrichment program 3 times a week. It's a nice route with plenty of downhill and uphill opportunities and a few fast flat spots too. Bringing both kids to the gym and getting them set up in the gym nursery just takes too much time and effort, and while I know it's silly, I feel guilty that they're there, and that's not at all the feeling I want to trail me during my supposedly stress-relieving workout. So, at least 3 days a week I load up the double jogging stroller with my 2 kiddos and all their stuff (you name it, we got it) and off we go! I go to the gym mainly on the weekends or when "Da-da" is available to take over for a bit. That's how I get my workouts in, by being flexible, ok with multitasking and ok with appearing sweaty in public (often). Here's some other nifty multi-tasking examples: I can fix Caden's breakfast/lunch while nursing Cooper, throw laundry in or take it out while singing a silly song or making animal noises, and I can play "cars" while picking up around the house. It just comes with the mama-territory. If I had any advice to give new moms or moms-to-be I would say, "expect that you will have very little time to yourself. So, whatever is important for you to accomplish in a day to give you peace of mind, be OK with accomplishing that thing while doing something else too. Your time is no longer your own, but you can still make the most of it."

Another thing that made today much better than yesterday is that it was supposed to rain throughout the day, and not only did it not rain until later this evening, it was sunny and warm with a nice wind! We took advantage of the weather and went for a run with a finish at a quaint and cute local coffee shop. We had a delicious lunch and met NaNa (my mom), which made Caden's day (mine too). It's amazing what a sunshine and family can do to brighten things up! I am very lucky to have my parents and younger brother living only a few miles away, because it means Phil and I have a great support system and our kids get to grow up having regular loving contact with their extended family. I grew up with all of our extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) living far away, and I remember yearning to have them closer, especially when most of my friends were surrounded by cousins and having so much fun! I hope having family close by will give Caden and Cooper more confidence and a stronger sense of self as they mature, knowing that they are both a part of a larger identity, a loving family that's all their own.

We ended our day playing with cars and "choo-choos" (what else?!) and talking about just how lucky we are to have another day like today. I'm sure there were plenty of mistakes (returning to the Anne quote here). There always are mistakes in any day, but I'm sure there was learning too, and probably much of it as a result of our mistakes. My feet are pretty sore, but my heart feels very full and ever-so-grateful that today was a much better day.

**** THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO ALL THE RUNNERS, VOLUNTEERS, SPECTATORS, MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO WERE AFFECTED BY YESTERDAY'S TRAGIC EVENTS IN BOSTON. I PRAY THAT YOU HAVE MUCH BETTER AND MANY TOMORROWS.****

Life's no picnic!

So, at this point I'm not sure if I have any actual readers, or if I'm just writing to myself, which is kind of like talking to myself, and I'm pretty good at that. If you're reading, feel free to share your thoughts or provide some feedback. I've always been a "writer" but I'm finding "blogging" doesn't feel as natural as putting a pen to paper.

Today was one of those days that I just wanted to either erase and start over, or skip and jump into tomorrow. I am grateful and feel very blessed to be alive and well and able to enjoy each new day with my little family, but some days are just plain tough to appreciate. Today was definitely one of those.

It started off hectic with me barely getting the boys fed, out the door and in the car to get Caden to his pre-preschool program by 9 a.m. They are very strict about starting and ending things on time, and I'm doing my best to stick to the rules. I realized after running him into his classroom that I had chocolate on my face and yogurt on my pants. The yogurt was definitely a gift from Caden. The chocolate I owe to shoving a granola bar in my mouth while nursing Cooper and trying to pack Caden's bag at the same time. I bet his teachers didn't even notice. I mean it was only one entire pant leg and most of my face... Subtle, that's me!

I jogged back to his school later to pick him up since the weather was so nice. The nice jog made me forget about the rough morning. We jogged back to the house and I decided it was the perfect day for a picnic lunch in our new backyard [we just moved -- the process was hellacious-- another post for another day]. I quickly made lunch, fed Cooper, grabbed a nice big blanket and we headed outside. Caden loves being outside and playing with his "cai-arr" (a push car/bike thingy for tots). He also loves seeing all the birds, dogs, planes and anything else that catches his eye. I figured he would love to sit on a blanket with mama and eat. [One thing I've learned quickly about planning activities for a toddler --- never ever think that whatever you have carefully planned will actually happen the way you pictured it in your head. It won't. Leave all and any expectations behind. Fast.] As soon as we sat down, Caden popped up and took off down the driveway. I ran after him, caught him and said "no" several times. He repeated "no" to me and we went back and sat down. Two seconds later he takes off in a different direction across the neighbor's yard and I again go after him and repeat no again and again. This little sequence of events happens several more times, except during our last cat and mouse chase the little rascal ducks behind a large tree in the neighbor's yard. I don't see him do this, so all of the sudden I think "oh my god he's gone..." I immediately feel my heart drop to my feet and my stomach rise to my throat. My first thought is that he somehow got past me and ran into the street. "Oh my god, no!" I panic and try to run, and instead fall down hard to the ground. I don't feel the pain because I'm totally consumed with panic. I don't know which way he went!!! I am about to yell for help when I hear soft giggling (or maybe evil cackling) behind me. I discover Caden was hiding behind a tree all along... My whole body melts and I dive directly for him. Once I have him in my arms, I feel like hugging and screaming at him, and doing both fiercely. I do neither. I swiftly carry him back to our yard, where Cooper is now screaming and flailing in his bouncy seat, and I don't stop carrying him until he's safely in the house and contained. I get Cooper inside and I finally breathe, breathe, breathe. I have never in my life felt that kind of sheer terror. That moment when I couldn't find Caden felt like it lasted for eternity. I am absolutely certain it took years off my life too. Not to mention the fact that while darting around like a crazy woman, I twisted my ankle causing me to fall directly on my already injured knee. Basically, my lovely little picnic turned into nightmare on elm street (or our street). So much for that memory making attempt!

After I put Caden down for a nap (thank god!) I just wanted to sit on the couch and stare at my little angel baby, Mr. Cooper, who I swear to you is the happiest, most serene, loving little guy I've ever met! I thank God all the time for graciously giving me a calm and peaceful second baby. If that wasn't the case, I would surely be crazy (or crazier?) by now. I was smiling at him, holding his little hands while he cooed and cooed, and then I spot a news ticker alert flash across the television about explosions going off at the Boston marathon finish line. Are you kidding me?! What on earth?! So, let me get this straight... We now have to worry about sending our precious children to school because you never know when a deranged psycho may shoot them, and now we can't even proudly participate in (by running or watching) one of America's most beloved traditions because a bomb (or several!) might go off?! I am disgusted, deeply saddened, confused and so very scared for my children growing up in this uncertain and violent world. I'm scared that I'm going to become so freaked out and paranoid about sending them anywhere without me that I'm either going to overprotect and shelter them by keeping them home, or I'm going to make them feel like I don't trust them by constantly chaperoning, following and checking up on them. It won't be them I won't trust. It will be everyone and everything else around them. I want to think that there is far more good in the world than evil, but due to the recent events we've all witnessed, it's sometimes really hard to believe. My heart aches for everyone in Boston and around the globe affected by today's senseless and heartless acts. I just keep praying that all this tragedy will serve some greater purpose whether that's in this life or the next... I sincerely hope it's this one though.

There were several other things that occurred throughout this no-good-rotten-very-bad day that made me wish for tomorrow, but I think I've hit the highlights (or the lowlights). Originally, I had wanted to make today's post about what it's been like transitioning from a workaholic in an office job to a workaholic stay at home mom, but I decided there was just too much emotion/frustration crowding my head. I needed to "blog it out."

What do you do on really tough days to wind down and refocus? I'm in need of some ideas!

To blog or not to blog...

So, I've been contemplating trying the blogging thing for a little while now, and that's about as far as it went. I thought about it, along with the 10,000 other thoughts that pop in and out of my mom brain every minute. Today, however, the thought stuck, and here I am ... officially blogging.

I'm not sure I'm going to stick with the name of this blog, "slugs & snails & puppy dogs' tails." It's from this age-old nursery rhyme:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Are_Little_Boys_Made_Of%3F

My grandma used to sing that to me and my little brother, and it always stuck with me, particularly the "little boys" verse now that I have two little rascals of my own.

Here we are enjoying Easter festivities:

http://instagram.com/p/XliHb9JXTa/

Truth be told, in that moment we had just arrived at NaNa and PaPa's house (my parents) and I was pretty adamant about getting the obligatory holiday photos take quickly before any food/crayons/drool/spit-up/mystery substances could ruin the boys' cute outfits. [OK, I also really wanted to change into my comfy yoga pants, and no yoga was not part of the plan, but really who wears yoga pants to actually do yoga anymore?! ]

Anyway, in a nutshell, I'm a mama to two adorable little men (17 months apart) who fill my every day with an abundance of joy and love. I know I'm absolutely blessed, and believe me I don't take these two love bugs for granted. They're my greatest accomplishment and hold the biggest place in my heart. I thank God throughout the day for allowing me to be their mama.

But sometimes, in some moments, I miss actually being able to go to the bathroom (excuse me... "Potty") by myself. I miss waking up on the weekends past 8 a.m. and wondering if I should stay in my pjs awhile, go to the gym, or meet a friend for a leisurely trip to the coffee shop. I really miss being able to just take a shower whenever instead of weighing whether I really "need" to wash my hair today because that would add an extra five minutes that I really don't have. I even sometimes miss the woman I used to be before I became two handsome little boys' mama. I think that's normal though.
After all, I believe you are reborn the moment you give birth the first time, and each subsequent time too. Your body, heart, soul, mind (don't forget your days, nights, money, house, brain, boobs, etc) are now shared with a tiny little person who calls you "mom."

I guess that's what a want this blog to about, life as a relatively-new-but-getting-the-swing-of-things mom. I hope it'll be good therapy for me, nice memory-capturing for my boys, and somewhat relatable to other mamas out there who are feeling very blessed and utterly exhausted just like me.

Well, I'm not sure how this rates as far as a first post from a first-time blogger, but here we are... I blogged.