Today was another pool day. This time we actually were able to stay for a couple of hours (as yesterday our plans were abruptly interrupted by mama nature). Caden loves the water! I think he's definitely going to be my little fish. Now, we just need to focus on getting those arms and legs moving so my little fish can paddle with the best of them! Mark my words, this little guy will be swimming on his own by the time the summer is through (because one of my biggest pet peeves is when kids aren't taught to swim when they're young. Parents, this is a critical skill for children to have, take the time to make it happen). The water was a tad icy, but as all parents know, moms and dads cannot act like it is too cold if you want your kid to actually make contact with the water. So, my prior theatrical experience came in handy today as I slowly waded into the shallow end with a smile on my face while my fists clenched in protest and my toes curled from the "perfect" temperature of the water. Eventually, as with everything, you get used to it, but I'm here to tell you that slowly wading into the water is NOT the best way. It's kind of like ripping off a band-aid, you have to do it fast and completely to feel the least amount of discomfort. All in all, our pool day was a success, and I'm grateful for NaNa and PaPa for helping me reel in my little fish while also allowing me to not completely ignore my littlest catch (Cooper, of course). As we were leaving (sporting way, way too much stuff for 2 small children), I momentarily reminisced about what it was once like (pre-children) to go to the pool just to "lay out" while lazily perusing celebrity gossip magazineg, sipping vitamin water (or something similar) and planning my evening out with my childless friends. It's a distant memory, and one that's fading with each soggy swim diaper I take off, or each swimmie I blow up.
Speaking of pre-children days, I've been thinking on and off about that time in my life and wondering what the heck I filled my days with. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty to do with a full-time demanding job, a husband/best friend to plan adventures with, spending time with family and friends, and getting my workouts in. I did plenty, but yet as I think back to those days and years, I truly don't miss them. I'm glad Phil and I took the time to establish ourselves in our marriage and in our careers, to hang out with our friends (married and not), to celebrate the births of the first new kiddos of our close group of friends, etc. I wouldn't change the order of any of those things either. At the same time, when I hear people say they want to go back and "relive their twenties," I can't say I feel the same. To me, my twenties (and frankly my entire life) was a series of phases and events to prepare me for the most fulfilling, exhausting, exhilarating, gratifying, frustrating, glorious time of my life... Right now, in the midst of motherhood.
Sure, I sometimes wish I could not have to plan my workouts around nap time, or fit them in on the way to do something-else-for-the-kids, but I accept it. I get it. It's part of being a mom. There is no guaranteed "me time." I'm fortunate that I have a very supportive husband and great parents, but even with all of that help, I never count on having more than a few moments to myself. There are definite days I complain to the husband and to my mom. Sometimes, I even beg for one of them to "come home early" or to "just please come over," because otherwise I might lock myself in a closet and never come out.
Despite any and all of that, I would NOT trade a single moment of a single day where I'm spending time with the two greatest accomplishments in my life. I mean that. In truth, I believe this may not be ALL I was called to do in this life, but I do believe it is the biggest and most important. I get to raise two amazing little boys and shape them into fine gentlemen (you better believe they will be holding your door, ladies!). That's my job, and believe it or not, I don't want to take a week away from them at an all-inclusive resort or a trip to Vegas. Heck, I'll be away (maybe) for a weekend, and I'm already missing them! I go to the gym, or to run an errand, or to meet a friend, and I can't wait to see their little faces again when I step through the door. I can be bone-achingly tired, and one (or better yet two) big grins can pick me right back up (OK, the added few cups of coffee helps too). I'm not saying any of this to sound cheesy, or to paint the world of motherhood all rosy and full of sunbeams (because it's actually made of many, messy colors and replace sunbeams with "pee-pee"). I'm saying this because it's true. I admit it. I am addicted to being a mom and I (mostly) enjoy it, too (don't tell the husband)!
Also, as a mom, I can promise you that I sincerely try not to judge any other moms out there. I don't care if you're formula feeding or breastfeeding, working or staying home (or a little of both), putting your baby in a crib or bed-sharing, organic food growing or occasionally McDonald's feeding. If you're truly putting your child/children first and accepting (even begrudgingly) that you now come second (most of the time), you're doing a good job. If you doubt nearly everything you do, you're normal (whatever that is). If you don't think you can keep going, you're human. It's the hardest, yet most rewarding job on earth. So, even when it's brutal, just remember to appreciate it... Motherhood. It's a blessing and it doesn't happen for everyone. Remember that the next time your kid says something mean, throws an epic tantrum, or launches their entire plate of sausage and pancakes across the table (thanks, Caden). No one could do your job better than you. Why you ask? Because you're "Mom" (remember how you thought your mom could do ANYTHING. Well, that's YOU now). You're a superhero in your very own universe. Mother on...
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