Mom A.D.D.

I have so much "stuff" floating around in my head right now, all of which I could devote an entire post (or two). I'm not positive I've always had ADD, but I'm fairly certain I've developed it as a mom. In fact, sometimes I not only have spur of the moment, flitting half-thoughts inside my head, but I actually verbalize them to other people and then act surprised when they seem lost or confused about what the heck I'm talking about. For example, the husband and I will be sitting at our nightly dinner, which consists of us shoving half-chewed up bites rapidly in our mouths while asking Caden to "stop climbing on the table, no seriously stop it right now...stop... 1-2-3..." Phil will start telling me something we need to do or a really interesting story about a really interesting thing that happened at work, and I will suddenly say "oh wow so that's what it is... I get it now... yes that's it.., she was right!" Phil will stare at me like I have a huge glob of food on my forehead (which I probably do), and suddenly I'll realize that I had another disruptive, out of left field thought that was not intended to be out loud and without any transition whatsoever. Happens all the time - kind of like trying to focus on this blog post tonight. Wait. What was I writing about? .... Oh yeah.... All the "gems" that float around in my mom brain... Right... 

So, because there's too much in my noggin and not enough energy in my fingers, here's an executive summary of what I'm currently thinking/focusing on:

 

1. How do you differentiate between the "terrible twos" and behavior that is beyond that cliche? 

Caden is a very sharp, very active and very willful toddler. His willfulness is mostly what is causing mama and him to butt heads more often than not these days. It's not that he puts himself in harms way or lacks caution, it's simply that he is always testing me and very purposely defying me. I will ask him to clean something up and he will look me straight in the eye and turn into a pint size tornado pulling every toy and trinket off the shelves and on to the floor, while tipping over easels and bonking cooper on the head... It's amazing the havoc he can cause in a matter of a few seconds! That brings me to my second topic...

 

2. How do you effectively discipline a two year old?

Recently (starting 3 weeks ago), I started the "1-2-3" warning followed by a 2 minute timeout (a minute for each year of age) with Caden. He seems to respond to this and is apologetic after receiving a timeout, but the behavior is not necessarily improving. So, I'm constantly researching the most effective ways to discipline yore toddler while also teaching him cause and effect so that he's learning how to modify his behavior. I think what I'm missing is talking through the process more with him (at least that's what the experts in cyberspace are telling me...). He needs to know his feelings are validated while also learning to use his "words" to tell me why he's frustrated. And speaking of words...

3. What is a "normal" range of vocabulary for a typical two year old? I know it likely varies a lot from tot to tot. I also know that girls are typically much more verbal than boys. Lord knows I was (and still am)! Caden is just saying a few phrases, but no real sentences yet. When he wants something he typically brings me to it or points to it or uses part of a word, and because I speak "cadenese" fluently, I know what he's asking. So, what's the real "normal?" Today, it seems like everyone is so quick to get their child signed up for speech therapy if they're not communicating as expected... But the truth is I'm not sure what I should expect at this point of our two year journey together.  I don't want to jump the gun, yet I don't want to be dismissive... What's the right answer (and why is parenting a toddler like a game of jeopardy)? 

There you have it... Those are the primary questions and thoughts running rampant in and outside my head along with trying to sleep train Cooper (who would rather sleep-eat with mama all night), restart potty training (kind of) with Caden, trying to keep in touch with my own interests/hobbies/work (yeah right), and searching for some time with friends had my very neglected husband (sorry Phil).

Most of the time, I maintain a pretty laid back kind of vibe, and despite the thousands of things I have to do and figure out, I remember to get on the floor and just play with my kids, to cuddle with them on the couch and to give them as many kisses as I can fit into one day at a time, BUT I then find myself laying in bed on nights like tonight wondering how to answer all the questions and quiet the doubt in my head. It truly never ends... And tomorrow it will all begin again, and I'll have more questions without answers and more worries about mistakes I I'm making... I'll also likely shout out a few things at the dinner table that make absolutely no sense (sorry again, Phil). Ahhhhh.... So..... 

What were we talking  about again?!?!