Most days, I enjoy staying at home with my two little men. I don't mind the seemingly constant spills, the continuous cycle of cleaning up or even the pair of poopy diaper changing.
Most days I can sit through an episode or two of Sesame Street and enjoy humming along. I can sit on that floor and play a seemingly endless game of car racing, or attempt to build a Lego castle (only to be trampled by an impatient toddler two seconds later).
Most days, I'm fine being a human trampoline, milk machine, personal chef, sleep trainer, toy mechanic, pacifier retriever, professional piggyback transporter, bath giver and book reader.
Most days, I'm OK giving 99.5% of my time and energy to two little boys (plus 2 dogs and a neglected husband), so that I can use the remaining 0.5% to drag my groggy eyed, spit-up stained self to the gym where I force myself to get through 45 minutes of exhaustion... Ahem, I mean exercise.
Yes, most days I'm totally cool being a 24/7 go-to-mom convenience store, BUT some days and in some moments, I miss my freedom.
I miss dressing up for work (where a dry fit tee and yoga pants were NOT part of the office dress code). I miss high heels (or even wedges) versus flip flops and sneakers.
I miss conversing with people over 3 feet tall who speak in complete (and logical) sentences, drink coffee/tea (or something stronger) versus a sippy cup of milk.
Dare I say it, I miss the adult world. I may even miss "work" (as in my former career, because what I do now is DEFINITELY very hard work).
I don't miss the corporate world of invisible but obvious political lines that are not to be crossed. What I do miss is the thrill of turning a great idea into a useful reality, an issue into an opportunity, and most of all a blank page (or screen) into a one-of-a-kind piece I could sign my initials to...
Don't get me wrong, I still use my creative side daily to come up with a fun, toddler-friendly, semi-educational activity or experience that will occupy our time (at least a few minutes anyway), but I miss using that creative side of my brain to create things beyond the playroom walls.
So, after some soul searching this week, I've come up with a short list of goals I'd like to tackle in the remainder of the year:
1. Market my freelance writing/communications services:
I told myself I'd take the summer to just enjoy being a stay at home mom. Well, sadly the summer is coming to a close, so I'm starting up the press and getting the word out now. If you, or someone you know is looking for an experienced writer/communications professional, let me know!
2. Begin writing and finish a children's book (or two):
This has always been an interest of mine and something I've wanted to accomplish for a long time, but as with too many things, I've put off. Now that I have daily inspiration for content, I know there is truly no time like the present. This is a gift I want to leave my children. So, I'm putting it out there for all to see... Feel free to pester me about it. I'll need the nudge. Seriously.
3. Enjoy more time with my husband:
This is definitely a personal versus professional goal, but it is something I don't take lightly either. Being a parent has been the greatest gift for both of us, but it has also been the most time-consuming thing we've ever done together. Even though we sit down for dinner every evening and sleep in the same bed every night, I know we aren't getting enough time to just enjoy each other, to share a meal without tiny hands reaching into our plates, or to sit in a restaurant without two highchairs and a mountain of miscellaneous crumbs under our feet. I haven't been good at setting time aside for just us, and I want to work to change that.
So there you have it... My short list of personal goals that will hopefully yield satisfying results and keep the career woman me who shares residence with the mommy me alive and well.
(Prayers, sideline cheers, and high-fives accepted and appreciated in advance.)
Thoughts are with you as you seek to fulfill these dreams... as always...
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